Grief is not a casual thing.
It’s not something you pick up as a hobby,
or go to watch at the movies.
It’s not a snack, or a treat,
or a get-rich-quick scheme.
It’s not a mural on a building
or a meme shared by a friend.
It’s not even a poem
written in a moment of clarity.
No.
Grief is more than that.
Grief is a way of life,
a modality of viewing the world around you.
Grief is the ocean, filling the horizon
in all directions until you can’t see the land.
Grief is the sky, filled with dazzling stars,
pinpricks of pain and sorrow on an empty canvas.
When approaching grief,
do not think yourself in control.
Allow the grief to come over you,
fill you,
pierce your soul
without backing down
or looking away.
Drink it in,
and feel
what
remains
in
its
wake.
Keep watching it, closely,
without guilt or shame,
as tears well
and the colors of the world
dim around you.
They won’t dim forever.
But this is important.
A casual grief can bear much,
But a transformative grief,
that pain is powerful enough
to heal a life.
I am a programmer, writer, and mother. I work as a Senior Software Engineer at Mangomint. I write and talk about Elm, Vue, Vite, and other tools that I enjoy learning about and using.